Dear Procrastination,

First off—yes, I know this is going to be a cliché, but it took me forever to write to you. Why may you ask? Isn’t it obvious? You, dear Procrastination, are the master of distraction. You can’t really blame others for getting sidetracked when you’re involved, can you? Though, maybe you do—but you shouldn’t. It’s just easier to do anything but what I’m supposed to. Right now, I should be working on my new book, but instead, here I am, writing this letter to you (which, unsurprisingly, has become a task unto itself that I keep avoiding). Case in point: I keep checking Facebook every five minutes for something—anything—amusing or interesting. Heaven forbid I miss someone’s public “meltdown” post! Why do people even do that? They overshare, then get mad when others comment. People are fascinating. Anyway, my music just stopped, so I need to fix that. Be right back…

Okay, music’s good—but then I had to check on the dog’s couch comfort (top priority, obviously), get water, refill the purifier, put away dishes, and check if my new play collection arrived (nope). Oh, and the book cover might be too dark, so that’s a redo. Now, back to you. How are you? Anything new? Let’s get to the point: We need to cut back on our time together. I know, harsh—but our relationship has dragged on too long, and I have things to do (that you keep obstructing). For example, the book I keep not writing. I was supposed to start last year, but surprise, I’m still waiting. I did finally draft something last weekend—baby steps. Now, confession time: I’ve researched why you haunt me lately. Turns out, there are six primary reasons. First, emotional regulation—dodging negative feelings (who doesn’t want to avoid those?). Second, fear and anxiety—old pals of mine. What if the new book isn’t as good as the first? Better not risk failing; just don’t write it! But I’ll never know unless I try—see my dilemma? Oh, and perfectionism (yep, another classic reason for inviting you over). Everything has to be just right, hence the book-paralysis and, well, life-paralysis. You cause ridiculous amounts of anxiety—do you even care? Doubtful. You seem dedicated to keeping people from accomplishing things. Tell me I’m wrong.

The last three reasons you stick around: zero motivation for unpleasant tasks (hello, dusting), not seeing the point in chores (why clean if it’ll just get dirty again?), and feeling overwhelmed (plus your “cousin,” depression). I’ve been there—paralyzed by the little stuff. So, there you have it: I know why you’re always here. Happy now?

So, what’s next? Should I kick you out? Make a project list, break it into small tasks, schedule time for the book and website? Maybe just look you in the eye and say “enough!”? I could do all that, but first—I need to brush my teeth, get ready for bed, and, of course, check on the dog.

Sincerely,

Distracted