Dear Cupid,

After these past two weeks, no, after the last twenty some years, I have come to the conclusion that you hate me. Why is this?  Sure, I may have written a letter to your mother, but that was out of frustration due to my continued singledom. In retrospect, I see how you may have taken that action personally. I can assure you it was not meant to be. If you did take it that way, I’d like to once again apologize for my apparent lack of judgement in sending that letter. Now that I think about it, you probably forgot about the whole incident due to the sheer volume of requests and thank you mail you receive, and once again due to a bad judgment, I have probably re-opened an old wound. You know what, let’s just forget the whole situation and move one shall we? As I was saying, or once again bringing to your attention, this search for a husband seems to have hit the proverbial brick wall, or should I say proverbial wall of emotionally damaged, self-centered, game playing, undecisive men! Have all the emotionally secure men already been taken? Or do they no longer exist? I ask as the number of men I have meet who fit the above description has now reached into the high double digits. Do people no longer believe in relationships? Maybe I’ve just been brain washed by too many straight and gay romcoms to fit into the modern world of dating, a dating scene that relies heavily on so called “dating” apps. What happened to the good old days when one could cross ways with someone, share a few flirty looks, a couple of smiles, which would then eventually lead to a “hi, how are you” and maybe even a date. These days it’s a brief exchange on an app where people use fifteen-year-old photos as their profile pic, a few inches magically becomes nine, and instead of a “hi” one gets a “hey, want my load.” No, I don’t! I’m a cuddler not a load taker. Hmm, I definitely think I’m the wrong dating era?. I’ll give you an example of the murky dating pool I’ve found myself wading in. Patrick, a fifty-five-year-old, previously married man who came out of the closet ten years ago. Yes, we meet on one of those dating apps as that does seem to be the only way to meet people. He’s a late bloomer, okay, I can live with that. Previously married, okay, I can live with that as well as it shows he’s capable of a relationship and the divorce was because of he’s gay. All good. We exchange numbers, texts, and we eventually plan for a lunch date. I show up ten minutes early. He texts and says he’s there. Ten minutes go by and still no him, twenty minutes, no him, thirty minutes still no him, I leave. I text “What happened?” Three hours later he says he didn’t get my message and thought I stood him up. More texts, I know I should have just wrote him off, but I didn’t because I believe in second chances. We agree to meet for dinner. He shows, and spends the first hour talking to me, instead of with me. Long story short, we relaxed and had a great time with lots of laughs shared. He says he’ll call the next day. Monday morning text, “I owe you an explanation for not calling.” Knowing what this means, I don’t reply back. I receive another text saying he was triggered by me asking him back to my place, and he needs to work through his issues with his therapist. Really? If you knew you had these issues why are you making dates with guys? Own your shit, wrap it up and pack it away like the rest of us. Where do these guys come from? Fast forward a week and another guy messages me from a different “dating” app. (Yes, I know I should just give up on those apps.) He leaves a voice messages. Different, but okay, and he has a deep, sexy voice. Nice. I text, he leaves voice messages. He calls the next day and a two-hour conversation ensues. I get the typical I’d like to meet you, and you sound cute, and I like your photos. A few texts over the weekend, and then silence. If guys have no intention of following through, why do they even bother? Is this behavior ego driven by individuals who are out for the conquest and enjoy knowing they can get someone interested in them? Or are they just so insecure with themselves that this is their way of validating their existence? Or is the world now occupied by men who have been so damaged by their treatment of others that everyone is too afraid to date, or even get close to another person out of fear of being kicked to the curb? I know, lots of questions about this whole new dating world. At this point, I’ll settle for an eighty-nine-year-old billionaire with one foot in the grave. This way I can afford that villa in Tuscany and live out my last reaming years drinking wine and gossiping with the other old ladies of the village.

Thanks for your attention to this matter,

Helplessly romantic.